Episode #70

Guest: Karelle Edwards

“Dealing with Abusive Coaching Relationships”

Stef Strack: This week on the voice and sport podcast, we are talking to Karelle Edwards, a five time team, Canada hurdler, licensed mental health counselor, and mental performance consultant. And co-owner of embrace your pace. In this episode, Karelle shares how she advocates for change in the sport, specifically around abusive coaching relationships.

She shares some coaching red flags and gives us tips on how we can bring awareness to inappropriate behaviors like emotional abuse, harassment, and assault. Karelle shows us how, despite all the challenges that she had to overcome and her journey she has learned to trust herself, her journey is so inspiring because it shows us that strong performance and strong mental health can co-exist. Her perspective as a professional athlete, who is also very educated about mental health is so valuable for all athletes out there. Welcome to the voice in sport podcast Karelle we are so excited to have you here with us today.

Karelle Edwards: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Stef Strack: Well, let's start with your journey. I love that we have a Canadian on this team because I'm actually half Canadian. My dad was an Olympic ski racer with the crazy Canucks. So it's exciting to have the Canadian athlete on the podcast. Let's start with your journey. Where did you start in sport and how did you go to hurdling as your main event?

Karelle Edwards: Sure. So I started playing sports at a young age. I dabbled in different things. Soccer, figure skating. Dancing. But it wasn't until the age of eight when I started being competitive. And my sport of choice was gymnastics at the time. And so I did that competitively for seven years or so since I was about 15 years old.

And then I switched to track and field. I was always told that I would be a good runner, so I just kind of ran with that and joined the club and got some success pretty early on. It wasn't until my grade 11 or, you know, in the U S you say junior year that I was introduced to the hurdles. A coach was like, you would be good at the hurdles.

And so I did it and six months later I made my first in Canada. So that's how it all started.

Stef Strack: So, did you love hurdling right away or was it something that grew on you?

Karelle Edwards: I think I, once I did it and I saw that I was successful, I enjoyed it. But when the coach approached me to say, Hey, you're going to be a hurdler. I was like, I don't know about all that. I had stopped gymnastics, partly because I had some fears. And so the idea of running over obstacles wasn't really what I had anticipated.

But as soon as I ran some races and got some success, I was like, okay, this is pretty cool.

Stef Strack: Well as young athletes, I think it's easy to get caught up in jumping from one event to the next, or, you know, being benchmarked against another person. And there can be a lot of external pressures from coaches and parents to stick with one event or one sport. So what advice would you have for young girls today if they are experiencing this pressure to, either stick with their sport or move to another?

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, great question. I think my journey, because I was kind of thrown into the hurdles and then I got success right away. It did set those high standards for myself. For me, but also externally, right. People are like, oh, now you got to live up what you started. And I do think that this where the trusting yourself comes in.

 It's your journey. And that's what I'm sure we'll talk about at some point, but with our company embrace your pace. It's all about following your own path. Trusting your gut feeling. If it's something that you enjoy great. If you want to venture off and dabble in different things. Great.

You're young. Now's the time to do it. You have a whole life ahead of you and there's no need to narrow yourself down or pin yourself down into a little corner.

Stef Strack: Yeah, I feel like it's unfortunate, but there's a lot of people out there, coaches and parents that ask young athletes to specialize early and, you know, I want to reflect, on your experience of like you, you were in so many different sports, but then you, did make it to hurdling had some immediate successes.

 What would you say to other girls when they're in like 13, 14, 15 kind of age and they're trying sports, but maybe they're having success in one, but love the other, what's the mindset to have, at that age, when you're dealing with all those choices,

Karelle Edwards: Sure. I mean, I think choices is a great place to be right. To have choices. And I think a lot of people will try and put you in a box, but if you have the will and you want to try different things, I would really encourage you. I got very nice right away. You know, it was great because I mean, I got some success with the hurdles, but kind of a moment of full circle.

I actually started originally the long jump. And I'm, now this is kind of telling the public that I'm not a long jumper again. And so I'm actually stepping away from the hurdles. And this has allowed me to realize like, wow, there's so much more I could have been doing at that age, 13, 14, 15, and I wish I would have done it.

And so. This is your life, your journey, and so following the path that you want to take and you don't need to specialize right away, especially in a sport like track and field, people don't specialize till they're late in their twenties. And so have fun with it. Follow your gut feeling.

Stef Strack: I love that. It's also so inspiring too, because let's just say you are feeling that pressure as a young athlete, listening to your story. I mean, you're 31 and now you're changing to another event and it's really, really amazing. So I want to talk about your role models and mentors, because this is such an important part of what we do at voice and sport.

We have incredible mentors that help these young girls have one-on-one or small group sessions and talk to them about their journeys. And I'm curious to know for you, did you have role models or mentors that had a big impact for you and why you kept with sport?

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, I think I was reflecting on that because I feel like I get asked that question a lot and I don't know that there was a one single person that comes to mind. What I think is that throughout my journey, there's been different people that have been placed in my life for different reasons.

And I think I've learned from a variety of different people. I've looked up to a variety of different people and at different chapters in my life. And so I think if you just open yourself up to possibilities and to allow people to come in, you might be surprised with who you connect with.

Stef Strack: And so today, if you were to tell your younger self something like whispered to her and give her a little advice, what would you. say to the younger version of yourself.

Karelle Edwards: I would say a lot, but

I think. Number one, this is, I know I've said it before, but it is a theme that's really come into my life at this point is the idea of trusting myself. I even have a tattoo of it now to remind myself, to trust myself. And also that sports is not that serious in that. Yes, we have goals.

And to be at the top, you do need to sacrifice and whatnot, but there's a whole, there's way more to life than just the sport and the moment you're in right now. And that's, you know, unfortunately that takes you getting older and going through some stuff and zooming out. But luckily I'm able to recognize that now. And that's something that I definitely hope that people can get from hearing my story. And that's why it's so important for me to share my story so that hopefully young girls can learn those lessons a little faster than maybe I, I did.

Stef Strack: Well, let's talk about lessons because I know there's so many lessons when you're transitioning from some of these stages, like high school to college college to pro. So you went to Syracuse university from 2008 to 2010, and then you went to university of Ottawa from 2010 to 12.

So when you realized that you were good enough at hurdling to go and pursue college, What was that journey like for you? And what advice would you give to girls that are in it right now? Like they're in high school trying to figure out where to go, and they might be trying to figure out if they even want to play sports in college.

Karelle Edwards: Okay. A couple things. So the first thing I would say the process for me to like, get us all shipped to an NCAA school was quite quick because I started hurdling late. And so I kinda missed the whole recruiting process. In the end I had two different schools. I think it was Boston and Syracuse and I went to Boston. I was like, oh yeah, I'm just going to go here. And my dad was pushing me to go do my official visit at Syracuse. He was like, you have nothing to lose. And I was like, no, I don't think I want to go. And so I ended up going because he forced me and look where I ended up. I ended up at Syracuse.

So definitely I would tell people, look at all your options again. Don't narrow yourself, right? Don't put yourself in a box, be open to different possibilities. Explore all of your options. But definitely the transition was difficult for me, mostly because I got injured right away. And so my whole experience kind of shifted and was flipped upside down.

So definitely a tough transition and I think we'll probably get into it, but, reaching out to the support team is really, really important at that point.

Stef Strack: Yeah, let's talk about the injuries, because this is something where also for me, heading into my first year of division one soccer, I injured myself in the pre-season packet that was delivered to me, and I would love to go back in time and, spend a bit more time understanding what it is that I'm doing for training and how to prepare for that freshman year.

So if you think about now, knowing what you know now, what would you say is good advice for preparing for that freshman year to maybe avoid that injury. I mean, injuries, you know, are unavoidable, but. Sometimes we get a little excited about going into a new sport, a new team, and it can be hard to hold back.

So what advice would you give to those girls heading into their first year?

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, definitely. I think for me, it was very tough as well because I had never been injured. And so for 18 years of my life, I had been fine. So to have such a serious injury right off the bat, I had a back injury. Was definitely a shock and I had no concept of what that entailed. And so I think educating yourself on what it is like to have an injury, not only on the physical aspects of things, but from a mental, emotional aspects of things, right.

It definitely has a toll on us mentally and emotionally. And I had no idea that that could be the case nor was it shared, or I didn't learn even after the fact this is something I've learned throughout my career after that. And so I would just say, educate yourself. And then seek out that support system, right when you get to school, try and put those pieces together right away so that you don't wait till you're in crisis mode to know where who to go to.

 So build that support system as much as you can. I know it's difficult because you're, you, you don't really know, but ask the questions, advocate for yourself and build that team so that if something does happen, you're prepared.

Stef Strack: Let's talk about the support system then that you created for yourself, after such a terrible injury. And something that kept you off the track for quite a few years. How do you build that support system to make sure that you're really taking care of yourself and you're getting back on track, but you're not feeling alone, you know?

Cause sometimes you can feel like completely disconnected from your team because you're not on the track.

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, definitely. And that's how I felt completely . Disconnected because at the beginning I kept going to practice and then it got to a point, I was like, this is too painful to just be on the sideline. So I stopped going to practice one year, turned into two years and next thing you know, I was like, I didn't even feel like I was on the team at all.

In retrospect, right when I was at Syracuse, I feel that my support system, I really relied on my parents. I didn't feel that I necessarily had the support at. school, My coach did the best he could, but in terms of anyone else, I didn't really have that support with Luckily, my hometown was only three hour drive away.

My parents were able to come and get me quite often and drive me to Canada to go see other specialists and whatnot. But in retrospect, I think again, allowing yourself to acknowledge how you're feeling, right address those feelings. It's normal. You're going to go through some stuff mentally and emotionally.

I feel what you need to feel. Cause then that's really going to tell you what your needs are and once you know, what your needs are, that's going to dictate who you need to seek out to being your support system. So do you need more help from a physical side of point? Do you need to educate yourself more on the injury so that you can take ownership of that?

Do you need more emotional support? Do you need to seek out a counselor? Do you need more social support? Make sure that you have friends whether it's within the team or outside the team to help you, so really identify your needs. And that's going to allow you to know who you should bring into your support system.

Stef Strack: Absolutely. And if your school doesn't have it, that is why we've created this platform. So you can access incredible mentors, but also sports psychologists or mental performance coaches like you. There are great people out there that have the skillset to help you get through that emotional. Part of being injured because you definitely want to have the right mindset.

Right. So going into it, I can see it being really important that you're having positive. Self-talk that you're working on your mental game. So what advice would you give on the mental side when you're dealing with an injury? What are some things that young girls can work on today with either their sports psych or their mental performance coach when they're injured?

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, there's definitely so many things you can do. And I like to tell my athletes who are injured. Let's control the controllables. We've all heard that before, but you can't really control when your body's going to be fully healed and ready to go again. But there are things that you can do and mental skills that you can develop to make sure that when you are ready and your body's like, Hey, I'm good that you start right back to where you left off.

One skill that really comes to mind is imagery. Our brains don't know the difference between doing something physically or imagining something. So the better you can develop that imagery skill, better it's going to serve you, because think of all the reps you can do outside of practice that you probably wouldn't even be able to do in practice. At some point, our bodies kind of hit a limit, right. But you can keep rehearsing and rehearsing and rehearsing in your mind.

And so that's just an example of one mental skill that's really key to develop while injured.

Stef Strack: Well, that is great advice, but how do you, you know, be patient with your body when you're healing? Because I also feel like this is a real struggle when you're injured, just waiting for the right time to come back. I feel like often as athletes, we're impatient and we're excited to get back. And so sometimes we come back too soon.

 What advice would you have about being patient while you're being injured?

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, that's definitely a tough one. Right. But I think remind yourself of the long-term goal. Right. The long-term goals get back to probably playing in a healthy manner so that you can perform. And so at the end of the day, if you rush things, you're only going to hurt yourself and your chances of getting back to full form.

And so reminding yourself of the long-term goal, and then in that process, Focus on the short-term goals, the daily goals, the things you can control, whether it's from the rehab perspective, whether it's developing certain mental skills, whether it's taking care of yourself, emotionally, all the little things you can control, because that's going to give you a feeling of you're actually working for something you're not just waiting right.

To, to be healed and to get back on the playing field. And so control the controllables. Think of a long-term goal and pace yourself..

Stef Strack: I love it. Well, you did come back. So you came back in 2012 after three years. I'm sure that must've felt like a lifetime. I mean, sometimes as athletes, we get frustrated with taking a week off, let alone three years of struggling to come back from your back injury. So, with that learning, did you come back stronger. and when you did come back, what was that like for you in that transition back onto the field?

Karelle Edwards: I did come back stronger. I think I came back stronger. Well, let's back up a little bit. Right. I left the sport and I was just starting as a hurdler and I was a junior athlete. Then I came back as a senior athlete. So it was a bit of a shock to the system and that now compete against adults if you will.

And at the time we had some of the best Canadian hurdlers. And so. I did ended up coming back stronger from a physical standpoint, just because I took the time I need and I was patient to come back. If I was able to get some good training in before from a mental side of things, I think overcoming the adversity of being off for three years and coming back and itself built some character and prove to me that I was courageous.

But I did also deal with a lot of mental performance barriers in terms of increased performance, anxiety, reduced confidence level, just because I had been out for so long. I wish I would have remembered my first time going over hurdle again after three years, but I don't, but I do remember my first race.

It was the most weird and intense and crazy feeling ever. I think my body was in shock. My nervous system was just completely fried. I felt like I was kind of floating, but at the same time it was just a mix of emotion. It was relief, it was happiness. It was excitement. And it was just a bit of nervousness too, of like, okay, where do we go from here?

Stef Strack: Yeah. How do you get that confidence back when you're out for so long? Cause a lot of the confidence comes from the training, the physical training. So is there, aside from the imagery work that you were doing when you were injured, were there other tools that you were really leaning into so that you could try to build up that confidence a little bit before you got back on the track.

Karelle Edwards: Honestly, I'll be super transparent. There was not. And that's part of the reason why I am a mental performance consulting now. And I want to be able to provide those resources for athletes, because I felt like I was told, just be confident, but nobody gave me the tools to really know how to do that. Right.

So great. Thanks. Yes, I know. I need to be confident. I wish I was confident too, but how do we build confidence? I was never taught. . And so yeah, if I'm being completely honest, I didn't really utilize many mental skills back then. This is something that I discovered further along in my journey and through just more practice and through my education.

But I definitely think it just slowly came back in time. As I just raced more and started to feel my body a little bit more and trust my body a little bit more.,

Stef Strack: It's so amazing. And thank you for being so honest. Like that's what we do at VIS we have these honest, real vulnerable conversations because often I think people forget that these things are really challenging and it's okay to talk about how it wasn't great. And now that you're a mental performance coach.

How do you coach girls now on the right tools to be confident? This is one of the most important things we're trying to work on in our community because we know girls are dropping out of sport at such a young age, and a lot of it does have to do and comes back to confidence. So I'd love to hear your tools now that you've been working with so many incredible athletes with your, with your company, How do you build confidence?

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, I think the number one thing I like to highlight is that confidence ebbs and flows, right? It's not just this linear growth path. And I think for athletes that understand that is important so that when they do feel like they're losing a bit of confidence, it's not panic mode, right? It's just kind of part of the journey.

So I think that's the first thing I want to establish just because you're having a little down or a law in the confidence as, I mean that you're suddenly not a confident person or athlete and that you can't climb back up. Some specific tools and strategies. One that I really, really liked is creating an evidence list.

So I have athletes and this is something I use myself create an evidence list of why you're good at what you do, right? Why you are a good athlete in whatever sport that is, and be as detailed as you can. Back then look from, from physical aspects of things. You know, I can lift this much weight or I can push this much weight or I can run this fast or run this fast before.

But also it can be from a mental side of things of like I've shown up times and time again. I've found that from peers of low confidence, I'm resilient I'm able to face adversity head on and overcome adversity. So anything that's factual that proves. Why you're good at what you do. We write it down and if you want to go the extra step, I have some of my athletes right in the middle on little cue cards that they can carry with them in their gym bag.

And that's always a reference point. So was just one of my favorite tools to go to.

Stef Strack: I love that the evidence list. I think that's a really amazing thing to do. So thank you for sharing that tool with us. Well, and I want to talk a little bit about after you competed in college, you did decide to go pro. . And now here, you know, several years later, you're still going strong. So when you were making this decision to go pro how did you weigh it?

Because a lot of women athletes, they stop after college. And in some cases there's not an opportunity to continue. So was this a tough decision for you or did you always know you wanted to go pro?.

Karelle Edwards: I always knew I wanted to go pro. This is kind of insane to think about because I've been asked before, you know, you were off your whole collegiate career basically. Did you ever think of stopping? And I honestly never did the question of, should I stop or quit track was just never discussed. It was always, what do I need to do to get back on the track?

And so I, that was just a normal progression for me. It was get back on the track. And once you do that, let's go pro..

Stef Strack: I love that. Well, I think having that clarity is amazing and it's okay also to not have the clarity because just like everything in sport, it's important to keep yourself open-minded and to know that you can always make different decisions along the way. And it's harder, I think for some sports than others, but I love that track and field is so accessible.

I want to talk about the culture of track and field, and in general, your experience being a pro because I think it's so important to trust the people that you're working with and that you're training with and creating that support system like you talked about, but when you leave college where you have a little bit more of a , systemic support system there with sports, psychologists and nutritionists and your coach all there at university. And then you go pro it can be harder to kind of build that support system. And I'm curious for you, did it happen really quickly or did it take time for you to build that? And what advice would you have for women that are leaving college now and heading into pro and they're in that moment, right now?

Karelle Edwards: So that's actually an interesting question because I feel like my experience has been a little different. I mean, from the collegiate aspect of things, I never ran pretty much collegiately, so I was never well-versed in how things operated in that front. And then when I went back to Canada to finish my degree and went back to my high school coach at the time and did club track, I wasn't supposed to having to figure things out on my own in terms of finding meets and traveling to meet by yourself and, seeking out External support for whatever it may be.

And so for me, that transition wasn't huge, but I know that when I was in LA training and I was with a professional group and I had a young college athlete had just graduated and she came to me and she was like, how do you do all of these things? That's when it hit me. I was like, oh yeah, like, this is a big jump from leaving college to running pro.

And now there's all these things you need to factor in. And so I do think it's probably not an easy transition. I do think it takes time to build team around you and honestly, a team that you trust. And I think unfortunately for me, though it wasn't a huge transition. I did fall into a lot of spaces that I ended up being kind of negative.

And so I'm not sure that I ever really built a strong support system. If you will. Outside of my family, they've been my foundation and my rock, but I've had to deal with a lot throughout my journey and people who kind of took advantage of that.

Stef Strack: Yeah, let's dive a little bit deeper into that because I think the environment I'm in the culture of running around coaches can, can be really harmful in some respects. And there are some incredibly amazing coaches out there. But there is also this power dynamic in unfortunate abuse within the sport.

That is also important to talk about because we want young girls to understand the difference between having a strict coach versus having a coach that might be emotionally abusive. So when you think about your experiences with coaches, what do you do if you do have an abusive coach or you feel trapped in a situation and like, how do you tell the difference between having okay.

Yeah. Coach is like strict and asking you to push yourself versus like, no, this is actually an abusive situation I'm

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, that's the tough part. And as someone who's fallen into those traps, if you will, and I think that's a great word. I remember. I used to describe how I felt as I was trapped. And at the time I didn't really know what that meant, but I think it's tough when you're in the situation. Because if you're familiar with the cycle of abuse, you're in it, that's part of it.

And you doubt yourself because people around you make you feel like you're the problem. And I wish I could tell young girls, if you feel like you're trapped, seek out help. But I know it's not that simple because I did that and I was met with, again, you're the problem you change the way you are just learning to adapt.

This is what it takes to get to the next level. And so I think. The best thing to do for athletes who may feel trapped now, or for just athletes in general, for parents in general, for coaches, for anyone involved in the sports world, educate yourself, learn the definitions, right. And look up the definition.

What is emotional abuse? What is verbally abuse? Look up USACF for us. It's the USA track and field association. It's not till I read their document on. What abuse is or misconduct is that I really understood and grasp what I was going through. And that's really when I started to see the difference between no, this is not just trying to motivate me and challenge me.

We're now crossing the line and I think it's just been so normalized. And that's why I've asked these. We just accept it for what it is. It's very hush, hush. It's just, it is what it is. it's normal to have a coach yell at you. Ignore you, reject your ideas. Gaslit you humiliate you bully you, right.

That's just what it takes to get to the top. That's what we're taught. And so really starting to do your own research. It sucks that it falls on us, the athletes to have to do it right. You would think that the people in positions of power would not leave it up to us to draw those lines. it seems as we need to take some control over that as well.

And so educate yourself. And then from there, hopefully that kind of gives you an insight as to what you're actually dealing with.

Zosia Bulhak: Thank you for listening to the voice in support podcast. My name is Zosia Bulhak and I am the producer of this voice and support podcast episode. I run track and cross country at the university of Houston. I love working with voice and support in order to empower young girls and women in sports. And I would love it if you would join us in trying to make it to.

Go follow us on Instagram tick-tock and Twitter at voices, port for more amazing content, you can also sign up for free and join our community of female athletes. Uh, voice in support.com for mentorship, sports, content and inspiration. Thanks. I hope you enjoy the rest of this episode.

Stef Strack: I think what you said is so. Important, like educating yourself, reading, reading, more understanding examples. So, without naming names, but do you have examples of like when you read that misconduct document or read deeper into the meaning of emotional abuse, did you have any aha moments of like, oh, wow.

 That was abuse and name it because I think it's also helpful to share some of those examples to the girls. Cause they might be listening to this and saying, oh my gosh, like that happens to me too.

Karelle Edwards: Yeah. Ooh. Okay. Yes. I mean, there was a lot of aha moments of what I actually ended up doing is I copy pasted all the definitions and the different types of abuse or misconduct on a sheet of paper. And then I just still did it. Everything I could think of that has coaches have said to me or done. But I'm trying to think of like one really good example.

Honestly I think the one that was most surprising to me, but I didn't really understand that it was part of, emotional abuse. Is the, the ignoring or almost like the dismissing you, right. It sounds like just like, oh, Maybe I'm not at the top of the team. So coaches don't want to talk to you.

But I had a coach, literally. I was gearing up for the world university games for team Canada. And he said he was going to send me some workouts. Cause I was in Canada training while he was overseas. And I did not hear from him for two months. I texted him, I called him. He just completely stopped communication.

I had to get a new coach. He did not give me a reason. And when I showed back up to practice that following fall, I walked towards him and he walked away. And so you don't think those things can actually be part of, of emotional misconduct, but it's all part of it. So I think that was one of the most striking, striking realizations for me.

Stef Strack: Wow. Wow. That's incredible. Well, and it also just shows you like the impact, negative and positive that coaches can have. Right. And that is why it's also so important. If you feel like you're in a situation where things just don't feel right, is to change is to get yourself out of that situation.

And if you're having trouble getting out of that situation, there are great places to go for support to help you get out of that situation. One of them is our platform. Like you can talk to people, maybe who aren't in your inner circle, because sometimes it's hard to bring those things up to the people that. are closest to you, you know, if you don't feel comfortable doing that, then leave your sport, your current sport circle and talk to somebody else. There are so many people and organizations out there that want to help.

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Stef Strack: So after college, let's go a little deeper into that mental health and like the amazing work you're doing with your company after college, you decided to go to graduate school and pursue a master's in counseling in psychology. How did your interest in mental health and performance evolve over time? Was this something that, you know, you knew day one freshman year and that you were going to get after, or did this kind of slowly evolve for you over time?

Karelle Edwards: Oh, it definitely evolves. So , I did my undergrad in exercise science or kinesiology, whatever you want to call it. And the goal was either med school or chiropractic school. Throughout my degree, I realized med school was not really the path I wanted to take. And so I really focused in on chiropractic school.

I had applied unofficially to chiropractic schools. But in 2012, when I was able to resume training, I decided to put school on hold and to pursue track a little bit and good thing I did because during that time, the next three years, I just focused on track and I decided, well, things started to change.

And I started doing motivational speeches at local high schools. And after talking to a few students, I this epiphany of like, hold on. I really love connecting with people on a deeper level. I don't think I want to be a chiropractor,. I don't really know what I want to be, but I know I care about genuine connections with people.

And so I brainstormed and that's how I ended on, on counseling. But even from then, it has evolved tremendously because of my own personal journey. And so. Especially the last four or five years and the realizations I've made about how no attention was placed on my mental health throughout the last four years and how that took a toll on me.

And it took a toll to the point where last year, you know, four months or three months ahead of the Olympic trials for Canada, I stopped training because my mental health took a hit and I was diagnosed with a major depressive disorder, PTSD, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder. And so I, now I'm so passionate about creating a space for athletes to, to be their whole selves.

Yes, of course. I'm here to help you with achieving your performance that you want, but ultimately if you're not well, mentally and emotionally, your performance is going to suffer. And so I'm more interested in getting to know you, as a person first. .

Stef Strack: I love that it's so inspiring. And so, I'm so curious to know, if there was as any sort of tension between what you were learning while you were completing your masters and what you were actually hearing on the track. Were there gaps between those two things along your journey of getting this.

Karelle Edwards: Oh, definitely. It was very, very confusing for me. Because I would be at the track. I was told you're not allowed to have emotions. The emotions equal weakness, just get it together. That's how you get to the top. And then I would go into my counseling courses and practicum, and we're talking about all our feelings and emotions when the importance of expressing those.

And so it was very conflicting and it got to a point where I was actually thinking like, do I have this all wrong? Like, am I missing , something that I make a mistake choosing this career path? Because this was just, this was not the way to be. But luckily in time I realized that actually had missed the mark at all, and I was right on target and that this needs to be more discussed in the sports well, and that you can be human, you can have emotions and still perform.

I think we're starting to have these conversations, but I also still have a lot of conversations with athletes who, who think, honestly, I've had someone tell me, like, don't you think you need to be abused, to be able to tap, into the potential that you wouldn't be able to otherwise.

And I'm like, that's the problem, but that's why, that's why I'm here. Right? That's why we need to talk about this. Cause that's concerning. So think about it.

Marker- VIS PLATFORM

Stef Strack: Yeah.

absolutely. Well, I feel like, there was for a while, this idea that you have to have, somebody be really hard on you and, almost do your point, like finding the edge of abusive versus like motivating your athletes, so how do you ensure that athletes know the difference between the two, kind of back to what we talked about a few minutes ago, there is a difference. And I love that you were helping so many athletes with this conversation, but it's crazy to hear that that's still coming up as like how they're thinking about things. So how would you inspire or encourage girls to be thinking about their mental health, because I feel like right now it's so much easier still to talk about physical injuries. It's just easier to talk about it. Like, know, Yeah.

I'm injured, you know, , it can be a conversation and it's pretty common. It's okay. And it's still not as common yet to talk about the mental injuries or the mental issues that we're facing. So how do you inspire others to really talk about it in a way that, reduces the stigma, changes the conversation, but normalizes that it's okay to talk about it?

Karelle Edwards: I mean, I think it can be hard again, like if you're just in this situation, you're uncomfortable speaking out. It makes sense. Right. So that's why I come in and I hope to use my platform positive way. And I hope that I can serve as a role model who shows that it's okay to be human. Right. And I hope that by sharing my stories, other people are going to maybe gain confidence to talking more openly about their mental health.

And I think it is an integral part of performance. And if you look at kind of like a balanced, right. Or you're like a Seesaw. You have mental and then you have the physical and they have to be aligned in order to achieve performance. And I would tell athletes or young athletes to view it as that, right.

This is an integral part of what you're trying to achieve. And so don't suppress that, tend to it, if that makes sense.

Stef Strack: Absolutely. how would you tell our listeners? Especially because a lot of them are on social media a lot. How do you encourage athletes to talk about mental health in a positive way on social media? Because there is power in social media. If used well.

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, definitely. I mean, I like to tell my clients, if you're on social media and something makes you feel bad, right? Something makes you feel off then whether it's unfollow. Or turn off notifications, whatever it may be, and then make sure that you're following accounts that are uplifting you, that are making you feel good, right?

 It can be that simple in terms of if it makes you feel bad, it's a no, if it makes me feel good. Great. And in terms of your own sharing, I mean, you have the right to share as much or as little as possible. I know that I've picked and choose moments to be vulnerable and authentic on my platform.

And that's w ith the hope that people don't feel so alone, because I know that throughout my struggles and my journey, I really wish I would've had someone online kind of talk about the ups and downs, of life. Cause that's that's reality, right? Everybody shows their, highlight reels and they don't show what it's like to actually go through life. And so the more you can connect with people who are showing up authentically online, I think that's going to be more positive for you.

Stef Strack: I totally agree, and knowing your why I also think is just so important when it comes back to like, when you find yourself in a low moment or you're in a setback in your sport journey. It's so important to remind yourself, like, okay, why am I doing this again? And like, what is my bigger, why for my life, which, which can lead to be something beyond the field or the court or the track.

So can you share with us, your, why your 31, you've been through this incredible journey in sport. What is your, why now? And how has this changed throughout your time?

Karelle Edwards: Let's start with how it started. I think my, why used to be, to be an Olympian, which is not really a good one, right? Like that very outcome-based and that's what I got caught up in. And so it used to be, it's just, you need to be in an Olympian . Right. And actually, now that I said, I just said, you need to, as opposed to you want to, so that could be a whole other thing to delve deep in and explore for myself.

But and then it turned into, okay, you've gone through all these obstacles. Now you need to prove that you're not mentally weak and that you're mentally tough and that's by becoming an Olympian. If I'm an Olympian, that's going to make everything I went through be worth it and show that like, look, I really am meant to be tough.

But I know that that's not the truth now. And so right now, if I'm being honest, my why is to one reclaim my power because there was a point, especially last year where I felt that I had been robbed with my career. I felt that. I hated sports. I thought it was horrible that it just caused so much pain and suffering to people.

But I realized now that I just was not in the right environment. And so I'm just working on reclaiming my power and honestly, showing up authentically and most vulnerable as I can be to help the next generation of athletes.

Yes, I have goals that are outcome based and yes, there are things I want to do and I want to go to nationals and, and long jump. But ultimately I really want to use my story to, to help the next generation.

Stef Strack: When you're working with the athletes and helping them set goals do you often approach it as both sport goals and life goals? How much do you go into. The life and the sort of non-athletic specific goals with this mindset that like, you know, we are more than our performance and more than an athlete?

Karelle Edwards: Yeah, I think it varies. Right. I have clients who come in with different, different needs from our sessions. And, but I have worked with people who want to explore that identity outside of sports, and the more people are willing to do that, the more, I think it's beneficial to them. And so I do try and encourage that, and if I feel that clients are kind of very focused in and that their goals are strictly sport-related and very outcome-based related, we do definitely talk about if it's not outside of force yet, right. Even within the sport, how can we gain that perspective? How can we focus more on the process goals?

There's more to sports than just winning. Of course, it's competitive. So we do want to win, but there's way more that you can gain out of sports than that. And I try and redirect the focus a little bit with my clients.

Stef Strack: Love it. Since you've built this incredible company that really gets after your, why, what would you say are the top three, tools that you use with your athletes today that you can share with the voice of sport commission?

Karelle Edwards: I would say one that I've found myself using a lot and it's not necessarily a specific tool, but I really encourage the athletes to reflect on their sports values . Cause I think that tells a lot. And so I have this worksheet with a bunch of different questions targeting those specific topics and that can be really insightful and it leads to very interesting conversations.

I rely a lot on journaling or even just writing letters, whether it's a letter to your younger self, a letter to your self now and letters to someone else. I think those have proven to be quite insightful. And then a lot of breathing, which I know that when I started working with sports psych and they talked about breathing, I thought, seriously, this is what I'm paying you to do to breathe.

I know how to read, but there's so much research behind power breath is helpful. And so really helping athletes tune into, to the mindful breaths and using it to call them and Sue them.

Stef Strack: So if I'm an athlete and I'm on my way to like my class right now you know, physics or math or psych or whatever, how can I incorporate something to do with breathing? Like, as I go between one class, to the other?

Karelle Edwards: Sure. My favorite breaths that I like to share with people, I called the calming breaths and you basically inhale for a count of two and then you're going to exhale slowly for a count of four. And what that's doing is that that longer exhale is actually without getting too scientific is actually telling your brain to, to turn down the sympathetic nervous system and pick up the parasympathetic system, which is responsible for kind of that calming response.

And so it doesn't take much and you don't have to be sitting there in a corner and meditating. It's simply just paying attention to your breath. To inhale four seconds exhale. And you can do that walking in between classes.

Stef Strack: Well, it's been such a pleasure and I would love to just end on our two voice in sport questions. Number one what would be one single piece of advice you would tell a younger girl in sport today?

Karelle Edwards: I think what I've been saying, trust yourself. If something feels off, it probably is. And so don't be afraid to, to speak up. And then you are unique and you have a unique journey. Follow your own path. You deserve to be there.

Trust yourself and celebrate yourself.

Stef Strack: I love both of those, and you know, a lot about what we're doing at voice sport beyond creating this community to help girls access, incredible resources, to keep them, keep them going strong, but in a healthy way is also advocating for change. And so what is one thing that you would like to see changed for the future of women's sport?

Karelle Edwards: I would like for a mental training and self-esteem building to become an integral part of a sports program. So not, I don't want it to be an adjunct or a thing that, sometimes you might have focus on it. I want it to be actually part of sport, if that makes sense, just as you have your conditioning, you have your endurance training and then you have your mental training and self-esteem building, I want that to be part of, of work program for, for everyone, but especially for young girls in sports.

Stef Strack: I love that. And we are here to support that journey too. That's amazing. Thank you so much. for coming to the voice of sport podcast. It was great to get to know you, and we're really excited to see what you're going to be doing, not just on the track, but off the track.

Karelle Edwards: Thank you so much. It was a good conversation. Thanks for having me.

Stef Strack: This week's episode was produced and edited by vis creators, Zosia Bulhak, a track and cross country runner from the university of Houston. Karelle's journey reminds us that we all need to trust ourselves and our instincts when it comes to situations that make us feel uncomfortable, whether it's in a relationship with your coach or in another situation in life, we can not be afraid to speak up for ourselves and ask for help.

Karelle reminds us that even if we feel trapped in those relationships, there are always people in our support system whom we can reach out to for support. If you feel that you are an abusive coaching relationship, examine your options, prioritize your mental health, and you can reach out to us at voice in sport, and we will connect you with resources and experts to get you help.

You can follow Karelle on Instagram at @karelleedwards and you can follow her mental health company. Embrace your pace. Head to the feed on voice and sport and filter by mind and spend some time diving into the incredible free resources we have at VIS. Check out the sessions page and filter by sports psychologist or mind, and sign up for one of the free or paid sessions with our vis experts.

Please click the share button on this episode and send it to another athlete that you think might enjoy the conversation. See you next week on the voice in sport podcasts.