Episode #122

Athlete: Skylar Park

“Challenging Combat Sport Aesthetics”

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Stef

Today on the Voice in Sport Podcast, we are joined by Skylar Park Professional Taekwondo athlete for Team Canada World Junior Champion 2023 Grand Prix Gold medalist Pan-American Game Champion, and most recently, an Olympic bronze medalist at the Paris Games.

Skylar's Taekwondo journey began at just two years old, deeply rooted in her family's tradition. She trained alongside her brothers and was coached by her father growing up in a sport, often dominated by men. Now, as a VIS mentor and an inspiring leader in our community, Skylar shares how she's redefined what it means to be both strong and feminine in a combat sport.

In today's episode, she breaks down the myths around Taekwondo and talks to us about staying authentic in and out of competition. 

Skylar

So the first one I would say is that combative sports are only for men. I think traditionally that probably was the case. But not so much anymore.  

Stef

She opens up about embracing her femininity as a strength 

Skylar

as I've gotten older as well, I've realized femininity and being the best in your sport can coexist. And I think that's something that for a long time I don't think I believed.  

Stef

and showing up as her full self is part of what fuels her success. 

Skylar

bringing that version of myself onto the mat and, having fun with it, enjoying myself, showing up as I am is definitely helping me to, to find success and, and be confident. I think it's hard to do it, but once we're doing it, that's when we feel our most confident. 

Stef

This episode is full of powerful insights for any girl navigating identity in sport, whether you're just starting out or pushing towards the next level. Skylar's story is a reminder that you don't have to choose between power and authenticity, you can lead and do both. Before we jump in, don't forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and be sure to sign up@voiceinsport.com and download the new VIS app, the Ultimate Resource for women athletes.

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Skylar, welcome to the Voice and Sport Podcast. We're so incredibly proud to have you part of this community as a mentor. And we don't have a lot of Taekwondo athletes, so the sport of Taekwondo is so incredible And you just came off an incredible Paris Olympics where you won bronze, so congratulations. Today we're gonna really break it down for what it has been like as a woman in a combat sport that has traditionally been dominated by men.

So let's start with how you would describe the sport of Taekwondo.

Skylar

Well, first of all, thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. And yeah, I do Taekwondo, and so how I would describe the sport it's a very dynamic sport that encompasses, all the physical strength, so the strength, the speed, the power, the endurance the agility, flexibility all those things.

But it also encompasses, you know, a lot of tactics. Taekwondo is kind of like a game of chess, and so you have to anticipate what your opponent's gonna do and kind of be one step ahead of them in order to be effective within the game itself. And then there's also that mental toughness component. I mean, being in a combat sport, it being a full contact sport as well.

You have to be mentally there at all times and you have to be confident in, in your game plan going in and in your abilities and in your training and, in your coach as well. So there's so many different components that kind of make up the sport of Taekwondo. 

Stef

Absolutely. Another key component to your journey is that your family had and has a huge influence on you because almost everyone in your family practices Taekwondo. In fact, your brothers were your training partners. So what was it like for you as a young girl starting in Taekwondo, being surrounded by this male influence?

Skylar

So growing up in Taekwondo, I mean, like you said, it was, it was something that my whole family did and so I was very fortunate to have grown up, with my dad and, and my grandfather kind of being the master and the grandma at our Taekwondo school and grow up with my two younger brothers who, who participate in the sport as well and, and are also on the national team.

But I was very fortunate to be surrounded by a lot of strong women as well. I mean, my mom is a black belt. My, my aunts are black belts. My older cousins and younger cousins, all my cousins who were also a lot of them females as well. So I grew up around a lot of strong women in the sport.And in our academy and in our community and of Taekwondo. And so I was very fortunate in that way to do that. But I know some athletes, you know, don't have as much of a, a strong female influence in their sport upbringing for sure.

Stef

What advice would you have to young girls that are entering into sport environments that are male dominated? Especially when maybe you're the only girl on the mat or in the room.

Skylar

A big thing is confidence. I think it's easier said than done, but take one to itself. The principles of, of, you know, confidence and discipline and respect are so much ingrained in the sport. And so I've been able to develop so much confidence throughout the sport of Taekwondo. And so whether I am in a room of male athletes or female athletes, I know that I can show up as myself and, Bring everything that I've learned to, to what I'm doing. And so I think you have to believe in yourself and have that confidence in yourself and show up and, you know, be big and take up space. and I know it's easier said than done, like I said, but I think when you're in those spaces, it's easy to kind of be shy and, you know, maybe not try as hard or, doubt yourself or anything like that, but I think to really show up and just put your best foot forward and, I don't know, not care who's, who's in the room and just do your thing is, is super important.

Stef

I love it. Well, at VIS we wanna debunk stereotypes and misconceptions about sport. It's one of the things we, we often do in our podcast episodes and most of the time it's with experts. But I think since you're in such an incredible sport, that is also pretty male dominated. I think one of the ways we can really break those stereotypes is to name them and then challenge them.

So let's hear what your top three, I guess, stereotypes are from the sport of Taekwondo that you would like to debunk. And let's start with your first one. What is it? And then what would you like to say about it?

Skylar

So the first one I would say is that combative sports are only for men. And so I think traditionally that probably was the case. But not so much anymore. I think Taekwondo has done an incredible job of creating an inclusive environment for both male as well as female athletes.

And we've seen the sport grow and we've seen a lot more females come into the sport and, and find success in this sport. And I mean, obviously we're competing against other female athletes, but there's space for both males and females in combative sports and in the sport of Taekwondo, for sure.

Stef

And do you still feel like that that stereotype is pretty prevalent or do you feel like that it's like really shifted from when you started to like where you are now?

Skylar

I find that it's shifted. I mean, growing up I started competing at a very young age. So I was two years old when I first stepped into a competition, There was not a lot of other 2-year-old girls competing in Taekwondo. And so, I mean, I was young as well, which contributed to that, but, so I had to fight a lot of boys growing up.

And I think that also contributed to kind of the toughness that I was able to get and the success that I was able to find later on in life is that in the very beginning, you know, I was, I was fighting older boys because there was no, I think there was no two year olds in general but there was no three, four, 5-year-old girls even.

So I was fighting maybe the 6-year-old boys or the 5-year-old boys. I mean, it is quite a big difference, but there just wasn't girls my age when I was younger who I could compete against. But now I go to local competitions and I coach some of our athletes and, and you see that there's so many young girls participating.

You see all ages, all levels. There's girls participating and I think sometimes even more girls than boys or equal number of, of girls and boys participating. So I've seen a lot of growth at the grassroots level for sure. When I entered the stage to the, you know, national, international level, I think that was already in place. There was divisions for the girls. There was equal divisions as the boys, you know, all the prize money when I went to the Grand Prix level was the same. And so, we're fortunate in that way in Taekwondo, but I think I see the biggest change at the grassroots roots level for sure.

Stef

Well, it's amazing that that shift has happened for you and you've lived through it. Okay. Let's talk about your second stereotype, that you would wanna debunk. 

Skylar

Okay. So the second myth is that women cannot be feminine while practicing a combat sport. And so I think this is something that is not true. First of all, I'll say that I always say Taekwondo is pretty. A lot of people disagree with me. They're like, what do you mean? But I think it's, it's a very pretty sport and I've grown up doing it and just the technique of it and the flexibility and all these other things. I find it very pretty and I think that I feel very feminine while I, do Taekwondo. And so I think those two things can coexist.

And I think initially there might be, you know, hesitation to bring that femininity into sport in general, but especially a combat sport where it typically was more male dominated. But I think those two things can very much coexist and you can be successful and, and feminine in a combat sport. At the same time.

Stef

Did you always feel that way or were there moments like earlier in your career where you're like not as comfortable showing your femininity either on the mat or outside?

Skylar

Growing up I was very much a girly girl. Like I loved, you know, to wear dresses and to do my hair and, and do all the things. I think Taekwondo itself gave me so much confidence, and I think growing up in such a safe environment surrounded by family and at my family's Taekwondo school, I was kind of given the opportunity to show up as I was, being surrounded by people who you feel comfortable with and safe with, and that basically, essentially being my home. I think I was fortunate to show up as myself every day and, and feel very comfortable in, in who I was. And so I would show up to practice and a dress and then change into my uniform. I would do all those things because I had the environment that allowed me to do that.

As I started getting into more competitions and, and competing at a little bit of a higher level when I was younger, I think I kind of tried to fit the norm of what it was. sports just in general, you know, you're in your tracksuits, you're, you're competing your hair's in a ponytail, you're not wearing, I mean, when I was young, I didn't wear makeup anyways, but you're not wearing makeup as I got older and trying to look, you know, serious and tough and all these things, but I think I've learned throughout to kind of bring that into sport and that, that can exist in sport and there's space for that in sport.

And so sometimes I'll, I'll dress up for events when I'm, spectating or sometimes I'll wear makeup when I'm competing and, and different things like that. So I think it's been a gradual progression as I've, I've gotten older, but I think from when I was young, I had the environment and the confidence and, and the support system around me to kind of show up as I was and, and how I wanted to.

Stef

I love that for you and I hope, and I wish that more of the environments were like that, I do think we're going that direction as a society, which is great.

Skylar

Yeah, I think things are changing as well, which is, is so fun to see. And I think you can be feminine and girly and, and, you know, wear pink, wear a dress and play sports at the same time. those things don't have to exist separately and, and they can exist together and, and you can be successful doing those things.

And I think we see that from athletes now. You know, you see the track athletes with their jewelry and their nails and their makeup and I wish, you know, I could do all that in Taekwondo, but it's, it's not allowed. So maybe one day.

Stef

Okay. Tell us about your third stereotype or myth that you'd wanna debunk for girls out there.

Skylar

Okay, the last one is that training in combat sports makes you violent. And so I think this can be just a true kind of myth for both males and females. I don't think it's like specific to females, but I think when you learn the martial art, you almost become less violent in a sense.

I think you learn the control, you learn the discipline. You learn how to, move your body into how to defend yourself without doing too much harm to your opponent. I think in more of a self-defense kind of scenario, and I think you're a lot more aware of your surroundings when you learn the martial arts and, and kind of have  these tools in, in your toolbox and, and can act accordingly.

And so I think it doesn't make you more violent. I think it makes you have the ability to defend yourself, which especially as a woman, you know, can give you a lot more confidence. And I think when you have that confidence, you're able to diffuse situations that they need to be. You're able to defend yourself if you need to be, but I don't think it makes you violent.

I think you're very much aware of, of your body and, confident in, in yourself and able to handle situations  a lot better and not kind of just react on instinct and, be violent. So I think that is a myth debunked for both men and women. I don't think that combat sports make you violent for sure.

Stef

When you think about the sport of Taekwondo and where it is in terms of equity between women and men athletes where do you feel like Taekwondo is as a sport in that spectrum of equity for, for women athletes? I don't know if I know enough about the sport to know, like how, how's equal pay? How's the experience, how's the media coverage? We spend a lot of time at VIS, I'd say talking about the more traditional sports in that way. But I would love to hear from you, as a woman athlete at, you know, at the top  what is it like and where, where is TaeKwonDo when it comes to equity for women athletes?

Skylar

Taekwondo is, I believe in a very good place when it comes to equity for female athletes. Like you said, we are a smaller sport. We're not kind of like the soccers, the hockeys, the, the basketballs of the world. So just in general, we don't get as many sponsors. You know, the prize money isn't as big just as a whole for the whole sport.

There's not as many sponsors and things like that. But for what we do have, you know, the prize money is equal for both males and females. Every event that is hosted has both males and females competing with the same number of weight divisions, same number of athletes. The rules are the same between both, males and females and the opportunities I believe, within the sport of the same as well.

And so I think Taekwondo does a very good job in, in, in that sense. And I think if anything, they've recently included a women's championship. So throughout the year, women actually have one more event than the men because there is an all women's championship event. So, if anything, I guess we have more opportunities than the men. But in terms of like we talked about the prize money, the viewership, you know, the opportunity for broadcasting and all that. Like I said, we aren't broadcasted a ton, but, but for what there is it is all very equal.

Stef

Well, as you already touched upon, like there's this misconception that femininity and combat sports don't mix. What was a moment or experience that made you realize that femininity and being a Taekwondo athlete could actually coexist?

Skylar

I am not sure. There was really a specific moment, like an aha moment where I was like, I'm gonna start, showing up more feminine and wearing dresses to, tournaments and, and makeup and all that. I think it was very much a progression I think it all kind of comes down to confidence as well.

I think once you feel comfortable in yourself and and confident in the spaces that you're in, I think you can show up more authentically yourself. when I first started on the world stage, it was very much just my dad and I at these major events. And so I think I'm a very confident person and Taekwondo has kind of helped me with that throughout my life.

But I don't think I had the confidence and I don't know if I should have shown up to these new events as, you know, the new athlete, the only one from Canada with her dad and just, you know, like in a ball gown to the event. I dunno, that would've gone over well, not? Props to anyone who does. But I think, I think as I've, felt more confident in these spaces, felt like I belonged at the top level, you know, it allowed me to kind of show up more.

As myself and I think as I've gotten older as well, I've realized femininity and being the best in your sport can coexist. And I think that's something that for a long time I don't think I believed. I think I was very feminine outside of sport, and I believe I almost had two versions of myself in a sense.

And as I've gotten older, I've found that they've kind of become one. I think my life in sport, I, I tried to keep very separate from my life at home for a long time. And I think that helps me a lot when I was younger. I would, you know, be the girly girl at home and do my things and have my friends and do everything.

And then when I went to competition, you know, it was all business. It was serious. I was just head down doing my thing. And as I've gotten older and obviously more. Involved within the sport and, and compete a lot more and have opportunities like this to chat with people about my, my life. Those two things are kind of harder to keep separate, and it's something that I no longer wanted to do.

And so naturally they've kind of intertwined with each other and, and therefore, you know, that femininity kind of has come into sport. I, I dress how I want when I go to events, I love fashion and so I show up in outfits or I wear makeup sometimes when I'm competing. And it's just kind of how I'm feeling, but I'm kind of more confident and able to bring who I am in my personal life into who I am when I'm competing as well.

I think that tension that you're describing, that I think we all sort of face, especially earlier and younger in our life, is that you almost feel like you have to conform to the certain box or the experience in which you're walking into. And sometimes that sort of experience or box or expectations for a specific box or experience like sport can feel like there's.

An expectation about what you should look like and who you should be in that versus when you're, headed to school or with your family, et cetera. And I think as you get older you start to realize that what's most important is that you're showing up as yourself. And that always isn't as easy to do.

Stef

I feel like when you're younger and you're still forming who you are as a person. So that, that struggle. Right. And of the, of these questions of like how you show up in your authentic self, what advice would you give to young girls if they're struggling with that moment right now about showing up?

Skylar

Just the way that they wanna show up because they feel like pressure to conform to a specific look or, or way of acting. When I was younger, you know, I didn't see any, any female athletes really wearing anything other than their tracksuit to events or even the male athletes, you know, they're wearing their tracksuits.

No one was really dressing up and, and being stylish and wearing their cool outfits and, you know, doing their hair and wearing their makeup and all these things. But I think you're starting to see that more in sport and I think that's allowing. The younger people, although it's, it's still a struggle, but I think that's allowing them to be like, I can be successful because she's successful and she's wearing makeup, or because she's successful and she's showing up as herself, whatever that is.

And, and there's many different avenues to that. I mean, makeup is just something that I've kind of started incorporating into my competition routine. So it's something that's on the forefront of my brain right now. But I know we always say it, but being able to see those people, you know, before you doing that allows you to be like, I can do that too, and I can find success.

I think a big thing when you're young is you wanna be successful and, and you wanna fit in. I think those are kind of the two things. when you wanna fit in, you're gonna do what everyone else is doing. And every, if everyone else is doing the same thing, then you're gonna kind of go along with that and do what they're doing.

And if you see people having success in their. Acting a certain way, dressing a certain way, doing a certain thing, then you're gonna wanna do that as well. And so if you don't see anyone kind of being feminine and finding success in sport, then you're gonna be like, I can't do that because I can't find success if if I'm doing that.

And so I think that is changing a lot and, and we're seeing fashion come into sport. We're seeing makeup brands, partner with, with with leagues or with athletes and, and all these things. And so I think it's incredible. And I love the direction that it's going and just for young people to see that all these things can coexist.

You know, whatever it is you wanna do, it can exist and you can be successful. And I think you're gonna find the most success if you're being most authentic to yourself.

Stef

I couldn't agree more. And I love that you are in that place now for your career. And I wanted to ask, now that you, you're showing up more like you in all these spaces. Do you feel like you're performing better? 

Skylar

I think so, it goes to that finding joy and really connecting with that younger version of myself. And that younger version of myself, you know, loved Taekwondo, had so much fun with her family, loved to wear dresses and, and all these things.

And so bringing that version of myself onto the mat and, you know, having fun with it, enjoying myself, showing up as I am is definitely helping me to, to find success and, and be confident. I think it's hard to do it, but once we're doing it, that's when we feel our most confident. 

Stef

Well, what advice would you have to a young girl who might feel a bit intimidated to get involved in Taekwondo or another male dominated sport?

Skylar

First of all, I want to say that there is space for girls and women in combat sports, if that hasn't already come off from our conversation today. But it is such an inviting place. whether it's TaeKwonDo or other combat sports, I've heard such positive experiences from females doing it.

I think not only are you learning the sport itself and, you know, getting fit and getting strong and all these things, but you're also developing such a sense of confidence. And as girls, you know, having the ability, like we talked about, to feel strong and to have the ability to defend yourself is something that can bring us a lot of confidence.

And hopefully, obviously we never have to be in situations where we need to use the skills that we learn. But just having that in your back pocket and knowing that, You know how to throw a punch, you know how to throw a kick. I mean, it helps. And so I would encourage all people, girls and boys to try a combat sport, to try Taekwondo.

I'm biased, but specifically Taekwondo. I mean, it's incredible for all the things that I've talked about, but especially for me, the confidence has been the biggest thing that the sport has brought me. And so that's something that comes to mind for sure. But the confidence that it brings me, and, you know, teaching at my parents Taekwondo school now and seeing the athletes come through and seeing them develop not only as athletes, but as people as well, I think it's so special.

So, I would say if you're interested to do it, to find somewhere near you, to find somewhere that you feel comfortable in, feel safe in, find a great club or school and, and a great environment. You know, I was very fortunate to grow up in a safe environment and a very, a fun environment and a place that I could show up as myself, and so I hope that everyone can, can kind of find that place for themselves as well.

Stef

I love it. Well, I'm sure these young girls are so lucky to have you as their coach. It's really incredible that you're doing that work outside of the work that you're still doing on the mat yourself as a professional athlete. So thank you for sharing, your point of view on these different narratives and stereotypes that we need to, you know, crush basically.

It's an important conversation and I think this is a great topic for you to be mentoring on, right? Is like how do you build confidence through sport? But also how do you continue to show up as your authentic self in these spaces that have been more traditionally male dominated. So thank you for being an inspiration, for the Voice in Sport community and being part of our team.

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Skylar

Awesome. Thank you so much for having me.

Stef

Absolutely.  This episode was produced and edited by VIS creator Mackenzie Sullivan. Skylar's story is one of so many girls and women in sport can relate to competing in male dominated spaces, feeling pressure to shrink themselves or question why they fit in. But Skylar reminds us that staying true to who you are isn't a weakness.

It's your greatest strength. And when you lead with authenticity, you unlock your full potential. If this episode resonated with you, hit the share button and send it to another athlete who you think needs to hear Skylar's message. And if you loved our conversation, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.

It helps us reach more girls. Then head to voice and sport.com or download the new VIS app. To dive deeper. You can connect with over 400 plus professional athlete mentors like Skylar. Meet over 100+ sports psychology, nutrition, and women's health experts, and explore our growing library of articles and podcast episodes.

Start with your new VIS article by Lynn Biyendolo, formerly Williams on embracing your role. Or check out our new podcast with Sasha Digiulian, where she talks about embracing her power and taking the lead.

Thanks for being part of the Voice in Sport community. And we'll see you next week on The Voice in Sport Podcast. 

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