We know it hurts. Getting cut from the team can be upsetting and frustrating, but it shouldn’t stop us from enjoying the sports we love. Use these tools to shake off the setback and dive into a new era.

Let your feelings out

Being cut from the team is a hurtful experience for the mind, body, and spirit. It’s okay to feel negative emotions. Unfortunately, this experience is likely not the first or last rejection we will have in our lifetime—we must learn how to process these negative emotions (like embarrassment, disappointment, and anger) in a healthy way. 

Dr. Paige E. Roberts, LCSW PhD, a sports psychologist and VIS Expert shared that to do this, we should feel our way of disappointment rather than thinking our way out of it. Instead of wasting time analyzing, complaining, or trying to reason through the coach's decision, use the time to feel the emotions and allow them to pass. It is important to validate your feelings and work through them so that they do not change your perception of sport or negatively impact other areas of your life. Try giving yourself some release by confiding in a trusted adult, journaling, or even having a good cry. 

Don’t take it personally 

While it may seem personal, the decision is not about us as people or even telling us that we’re a bad player. Remember that for many teams, spots are limited by the number of resources available, positions needed, and spots left to fill. In other words, we shouldn’t internalize the situation as a reflection of our value, says Roberts. 

Pro Tip: We can reframe our negative thoughts or self-attacks with more gracious language. For example, every time we think to ourselves, “I suck” or “They don’t like me,” stop and recognize the negativity and harmful language and respond with “It wasn’t personal, I will try again.” 

Move on

The things we say to ourselves become the things we believe about ourselves. To move on, we have to feel the emotion fully, but it is also unhealthy to stay trapped in those negative emotions. To prevent creating a distorted belief system, we can avoid ruminating on the disappointment by exploring other things we enjoy. For example, take a walk, have a dance break, meditate, or do some yoga. 

Reframe your journey

Not making the team does not have to be the end of our journey in sport. It is difficult, but Roberts recommends that we look at the rejection as an opening door to a new opportunity. Whether it be asking for areas where we can improve our game or exploring other sports or activities, being cut from the team does not have to put a stop to our journey. Look for other opportunities to play whether it be at a club or recreational team, or with an informal group after school. 

There are so many ways to participate and find joy in sport!