For many of us, being an athlete means that we are on a team and are surrounded by other high-achieving individuals. Teammates can be invaluable resources for growth, but sometimes it can be hard to see them that way, especially when we have to compete against them in races or vie with them for playing time. In these scenarios, it can be easy for teammates to transform from collaborators into competitors, which can create an environment rooted in comparison.
In an interview with Voice in Sport, certified mental performance consultant and VIS Expert™, Anna Hennings, shared tips on how to cultivate collaborative, rather than competitive, interactions with teammates.
Hennings explained that it all starts with the story we are telling ourselves. “If you are telling yourself that your teammate is your competitor, that is not the most helpful story to be listening to. And so the question then becomes, what is a more helpful story? What can you be telling yourself about your teammates that helps you get better?”
The first story that Hennings suggested we tell ourselves is that our teammates are inspirations, not threats. “Think about them not as a threat but as this presence that can support you and help you improve,” she said. Then she added, “A huge part of that is truly believing and telling yourself that this person can be an inspiration to me and can act as a source of confidence, more so than maybe a pro-athlete.” With this mindset, it is easier to be motivated to work harder and learn from our teammates.
“The best way to ‘prove’ ourselves is to focus on yourself and doing your best, whatever that is for you. The more you work on improving yourself, the more likely you are to prove yourself.”
Additionally, we often feel the need to prove ourselves, whether it be to coaches, recruiters, or teammates. The latter is especially common when transitioning to a higher level, such as from high school to college, and can foster a competitive environment. Hennings explained how when we try to prove ourselves, the focus is outside of ourselves and often on things we cannot control.
The story we should tell ourselves is that we need work to improve ourselves, not prove ourselves. "The best way to ‘prove’ ourselves is to focus on yourself and doing your best, whatever that is for you. The more you work on improving yourself, the more likely you are to prove yourself,” Hennings said.
Finally, Hennings offered advice on how to not see the success of teammates as our own failure. She revealed that the key to navigating personal struggles while also celebrating the success of teammates is to tell ourselves a story that is filled with self-compassion instead of self-criticism.
Self-compassion, Hennings explained, has three components: mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness. “You’ve got to learn to be able to pause, put on blinders, celebrate yourself, and have appreciation and acceptance for your own path and goals” she said. “When you can do that in the face of not doing as well as your teammates, you're going to be able to not feel quite as much like a failure.”
As high-performing athletes, being competitive is oftentimes second-nature. However, this doesn’t mean that we should compete against our teammates. Instead, we should collaborate with them, and by changing the stories we tell ourselves, we have the power to make that choice.
